


there're thousands of grains of sand in your gourd but there's only one you

by blueacid



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Gaara is a gay disaster, Kakashi is Hokage and appears briefly, M/M, No Fourth Shinobi War, No Uchiha Massacre, Shisui is just a disaster, i don't like adult!Gaara's hair so feel free to imagine him with a better haircut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:09:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19396693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueacid/pseuds/blueacid
Summary: The Hokage sends an Uchiha on a diplomatic mission to Suna. An Uchiha whoflirts. Gaara is scandalized.





	there're thousands of grains of sand in your gourd but there's only one you

**Author's Note:**

> Why don't you starve in the desert? Because of the sand which is there.

"Lord Kazekage, the Konoha delegation is here."

Said Lord Kazegake's green eyes calmly meet his assistant's. They arrived earlier than expected.

"Very well," he nods, "let them in."

Enters a team of unknown Leaf jounin. Their leader is a tall man, whose posture screams danger and efficiency. He begins his report in a neutral but assured voice, while Gaara can't help but observe his somewhat familiar features with curiosity – and how to not notice his dark, so very dark eyes.

Oh. An Uchiha, then.

He must admit, he expected Haruno Sakura, some members of Team Gai, or even his sister's current boyfriend. Certainly not a mysterious representative of the most notorious clan of Konoha. Not that he doesn't like them, despite his quite tense relationship with Naruto's friend and teammate Sasuke, and not as if he would let that get in the way of diplomatic relations either – he's a professional Kage, thank you very much. He guesses he's just used to deal with people he knows a bit more, courtesy of his blond friend who kindly suggested to the Hokage that Suna's leader might be more comfortable with shinobi he already trusted.

Well, that doesn't really matter.

What _does_ matter is that the man noticed his staring, if the red glint in his eyes is anything to go by.

Gaara shifts in his seat, but the glint is quickly gone, and soon he thanks them all and allows them to go and get some rest.

"Crossing the Suna Desert is hard," he adds as they leave, "do not hesitate to go see one of our medical-nin for a checkup."

The Uchiha stops, and deliberately lets his teammates leave the room before him - he then turn to him, eyes full of mischief.

"Will do, Lord Kazekage! But don't worry, I didn't get a sunburn," he smirks, "I'm always _that_ hot."

He then has the _nerve_ to wink – and a second later he's not even here anymore.

Gaara blinks.

_What the fuck._

Konoha's alliance with Suna is canceled.

* * *

As the sun sets on Suna, Gaara decides to frantically look for his sister. He needs to complain and whine about how _unfair_ it is that Konoha always sends him the weirdest shinobi – he dealt with Lee and his master for _years_ , damn it. Doesn't he deserve a little respect?

Apparently he doesn't, because when he finally finds Temari, it's only to discover that she had enough time to befriend the outrageous Uchiha. Next thing he knows, they're all drinking together in a bar he didn't even know existed, and Uchiha Shisui – Uchiha Sasuke's older cousin, as he now knows – has already said two times that he was _fine and sandy_. It's so bad Gaara wants to get drunk, but he has paperwork to do later that night.

Their little party is going on, and he's so busy minding his own business and discreetly looking after his inebriated sister so that she doesn't break anything, that he doesn't notice Uchiha's gaze is focused on him until it's too late.

"You're so fine," he says with a drunk, lazy grin, "I think you got polished with heavenly sandpaper."

And what can Gaara do about it, apart from blushing and being scandalized?

He has a lot of respect for Hatake Kakashi as a fellow Kage, and he deeply loves Naruto as a friend, but he swears he's going to kill them both.

* * *

Their third meeting is much more solemn. They discuss tactics and border protection with some of Suna's prominent advisers, and Gaara comes to understand that Uchiha Shisui is a brilliant strategist, as well as a smooth diplomat. He can at least respect that. His dear friend Lee, although brilliant in his own way, certainly doesn't have the cold efficiency an Uchiha is capable of, nor this ability to convince the elders of Suna so quickly. The meeting goes well and ends on a new agreement between the two villages. Gaara is extremely pleased.

He makes a serious mistake, however, when he decides to show his newfound consideration for the Uchiha by thanking him personally for his excellent work. Because the smile with which the other man rewards him is neither the flirty smirk Gaara expected nor the Uchiha cocky grin he kind of dreaded to see.

 _This_ , this is not an Uchiha smile. This is an "I stole the smiles from all my clan members and kept them for myself so that I could perfect a smile so sunny it blinds you" smile.

Gaara almost chokes.

He never witnessed so much sincerity in a simple smile, except for Naruto's.

But Naruto's smile only promises the sun.

Uchiha Shisui's seems to promise the sun and the world and _more_.

He's so moved he doesn't even react when Uchiha tells him he can think of other ways to put his consulting expertise to good use.

* * *

"Would you pass along a more personal message to the Hokage?" Gaara asks without looking up from the scroll he's about to seal.

"Uh, sure," Uchiha's tone is slightly surprised as if it wasn't at all what he expected from their last meeting. "I mean certainly, Lord Kazekage."

Gaara gives him a brief look, before nodding and resuming the writing of his second missive. It's been five days, and the Konoha team's mission is coming to an end. Uchiha's terrible pick-up lines have become rarer, and the man now acts with caution and a little wariness, as if he doesn't know what to make of Gaara's lack of reaction.

Gaara sighs. Well, that won't do. Sure, he needed a few days to train – and by that, he means pestering his siblings until they stop staring at him with horror and give him real, useful seduction tips – but he certainly doesn't intend to lose to a shameful fake-Uchiha, no matters how ethereal is smile is.

Standing up, he hands him the scrolls and, while trying to look like a dignified Kazekage, makes sure their hands brush against each other.

"Please take care on your way back to Konoha, Uchiha-san," he's almost tempted to wink, but restrains himself for the sake of honor, "After all, you must be already tired, as you have run through my mind all day."

Ah! Take that, Uchiha Shisui. Kankurou would be so proud.

Said Uchiha Shisui stares at him with wide eyes as if he can't quite comprehend what just happened, and then his face morphs into something absolutely _feral_ and he suddenly leans over Gaara's desk, Sharingan slowly spinning.

"Oh, fear not, _Gaara-san_ ," his voice is so, oh so low, "I'm more than able to defend myself. My eyes", he directs his gaze towards a very obvious feature, his smirk growing, "are not the only weapon I carry."

Gaara's mind blanks.

Unable to react, he's almost certain to hear a chuckle as the man takes his leave, leaving behind a very undignified and completely outraged Kazekage.

* * *

("I'm confused, Shisui-kun," Kakashi scratches his head, "as I understand it, Suna accepted the border treaty and everything went well. So why is the Kazekage subtly insulting me and why is he talking about sunburn, sandpaper and a plot against him - woh, why the hell are you laughing like that?!")

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot for reading! I hope that it wasn't too obvious that English isn't my first language – but hey, you need to practice to progress!
> 
> (for those who are wondering: Shisui is still an ANBU, but had to go on a more classic mission because Kakashi was short of shinobi)


End file.
